John Cassian, Conferences XI–XVII XVI.23: How he is the strong and vigorous man, who yields to the will of another

But you must certainly know that in general he plays a stronger part who subjects his own will to his brother’s, than he who is found to be the more pertinacious in defending and clinging to his own decisions. For the former by bearing and putting up with his neighbour gains the character of being strong and vigorous, while the latter gains that of being weak and sickly, who must be pampered and petted so that sometimes for the sake of his peace and quiet it is a good thing to relax something even in necessary matters. And indeed in this he need not fancy that he has lost anything of his own perfection, though by yielding he has given up something of his intended strictness, but on the contrary he may be sure that he has gained much more by his virtue of long-suffering and patience. For this is the Apostle’s command: “Ye who are strong should bear the infirmities of the weak;” and: “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” For a weak man will never support a weak man, nor can one who is suffering in the same way, bear or cure one in feeble health, but one who is himself not subject to infirmity brings remedies to one in weak health. For it is rightly said to him: “Physician, heal thyself.”